life

Life fucking sucks right now. I feel like everythings slowly crashing lol. I never really thought about it until now. Before when I started smoking it was just all for fun and it still is fun but now I'm starting to think I keep smoking so much because it helps me not think about what's really happening to me. -_- I'm not going to school next quarter because I have no money so I'm going to find a new full time job. hopefully I can go back for spring quarter. I never expected to find myself where I am right now. It hurts because I feel alone. even when I'm surrounded by so many people. I just don't like to show it.. I'm just numbing myself till I don't feel any emotions anymore.